Let’s be honest. Before I moved here, my image of Korea was 100% based on K-Dramas. I thought I would step off the plane, a soft wind would blow through my hair, a BTS song would play in the background, and a tall, handsome CEO would accidentally bump into me and fall in love.
Reality Check: The only thing that bumped into me was a 4-foot-tall Grandma (Halmoni) with elbows made of steel. And the “soft wind”? It was just pure, sticky humidity hitting me like a wet towel.
Welcome to Level 1. This is the story of my first 24 hours in Seoul.
🎬 The “Idiot” Archives: The Elbow of Doom
Flashback: 4 years ago. Incheon International Airport.
I landed. The airport was stunning. It was cleaner than my future. I felt like a queen. Then I took the Airport Railroad (AREX) to Seoul Station. That’s where the dream died.
I was standing in front of the subway door, struggling with my two giant suitcases. The doors opened. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my ribs.
BAM.
A tiny Korean grandma, wearing a floral visor and hiking gear, had just shivved me with her elbow. She didn’t say “Excuse me.” She didn’t say “Sorry.” She just shouted something that sounded like “Bikyeo!” (Move!) and zoomed past me like a ninja.
I stood there, bruised and confused. “Why does everyone hate me? Is it my perfume?”
🛑 Enter “Ssam” (Context is King)
I met Ssam (my Korean mentor) that evening for BBQ. I was pouting. “Ssam, people here are so rude! A grandma attacked me!”
Ssam laughed while flipping the Samgyeopsal (pork belly). “Alice, she wasn’t attacking you. She was just being efficient.”
He explained the two laws of the Korean Jungle:
- Pali-Pali (빨리빨리): It means “Hurry, Hurry.” Korea was built on speed. Walking slow is a sin. Blocking a door is a crime.
- The Ajumma Power: Older women (Ajummas) built this country. They don’t have time for your slow American walking pace. If you are in the way, you get the Elbow.
“It’s not personal,” Ssam said. “It’s survival. Move or get moved.”
💡 Level 3 Wisdom: How to survive your first day
Looking back, that grandma taught me an important lesson. Seoul doesn’t wait for you. Here is how to adapt, fast.
1. Speed Up (Pali-Pali)
Do not stand in the middle of the sidewalk to check Google Maps. Move to the side. Do not block the left side of the escalator (that’s for walking). If you are slow, you are the enemy.
2. Download the Right Apps
Google Maps is useless here. It won’t give you walking directions.
- Naver Map or Kakao Map: Your new Bible.
- Subway Korea: Essential for not ending up in the wrong city.
3. Don’t Take Pushing Personally
If someone bumps into you in the subway, they usually won’t apologize. It’s not because they are mean. It’s because it happens 1,000 times a day in a crowded city. Just keep moving.
👋 Alice’s Bottom Line
Korea isn’t a K-Drama. It’s a high-speed, high-efficiency society. The humidity will ruin your hair, and the grandmas will bruise your ribs. But once you learn the rhythm? It’s the most convenient place on Earth.
Just remember: Walk fast, or get elbowed.
🧳 Survival Hangul: Arrival Edition
- “잠시만요! (Jamsimanyo!)”
- Meaning: “Excuse me / Just a moment.”
- Usage: Use this when you need to get off the subway and people are blocking you. It is your shield against the elbows.
- “비켜 주세요. (Bikyeo juseyo.)”
- Meaning: “Please move.”
- Usage: A bit more direct. Use when Jamsimanyo fails.
- “빨리빨리 (Pali-Pali)”
- Meaning: “Hurry, Hurry.”
- Usage: The motto of your new life.