In America, a wedding is a whole-day event with speeches, dancing, and a gift registry. In Korea, a wedding is a high-speed operation.
It usually lasts 30 minutes. There is no dancing. And most importantly, do not bring a toaster. You must bring Cash.
If you receive a wedding invitation in Seoul, you might be confused. What do I wear? How much money do I give? Therefore, I wrote this Korean wedding guest guide to save you from embarrassment.
Welcome to Level 1. Let me tell you about the time I brought a wrapped gift to a wedding hall and couldn’t find where to put it.
The Facepalm Files: The Gift Box Incident
Flashback: 1 year ago. Gangnam Wedding Hall.
My coworker invited me to her wedding. Naturally, I went to a department store and bought a lovely set of wine glasses. I wrapped them in gold paper.
However, when I arrived at the venue, there was no “Gift Table.” There was only a desk where men were collecting white envelopes and writing names in a book. I tried to give my box to the groom’s brother at the desk. He looked at the box like it was a bomb. “Uh… thank you?” he said, putting it on the floor behind him.
I realized everyone else was holding envelopes. I was the only one holding a box.
Enter “Ssam” (The Wedding Planner)
I met Ssam at the buffet later. “Ssam, nobody brought gifts! Did I do something wrong?”
Ssam laughed while eating sushi. “Alice, in Korea, Cash is King. The couple needs money to pay for this expensive wedding hall.”
He explained the Economics of Marriage: “We give Chug-ui-geum (Congratulatory Money). It helps them start their new life. Physical gifts are for close friends only, and usually given privately.”
Level 3 Wisdom: The Envelope Rules
To survive a wedding, you need to know the rules. Ideally, follow this Korean wedding guest guide.
1. The Magic Amount (5, 10, 15)
How much should you give? It depends on your relationship.
- 50,000 KRW ($40): You know them, but you aren’t close. (Or you are a student).
- 100,000 KRW ($80): You are friends or coworkers who talk often.
- 150,000+ KRW: Best friends or family.
- Tip: Always use crisp, clean bills.
2. The White Envelope
Don’t just hand over cash.
- Step 1: Go to the desk. There are free white envelopes.
- Step 2: Put the money inside.
- Step 3: Write your Name vertically on the back of the envelope.
- Step 4: Hand it to the person at the desk. They will give you a “Meal Ticket” (Sik-권).
3. Fashion: No White
Unlike some Western weddings where guests dress up like prom, Korean weddings are “Semi-Formal” or “Business Casual.”
- Men: Suit (no tie is okay).
- Women: Dress or blouse.
- The Golden Rule: NEVER wear white. The bride must be the only white spot in the room.
Level 4: The Deep Dive (Ssam’s Insight)
(Why are Korean weddings so fast?)
The “Factory” Wedding Culture
You might feel the wedding is rushed. The ceremony takes 30 minutes, and then everyone runs to the buffet. Historically, traditional Korean weddings lasted days. However, modern urbanization changed everything.
1. The Wedding Hall Industry Seoul is crowded. To accommodate everyone, specialized “Wedding Halls” were built. They operate like factories. One couple gets married at 12:00, the next at 1:00, the next at 2:00. Consequently, efficiency is more important than romance during the ceremony.
2. The Real Party is the Buffet The ceremony is for the parents (showing face). The Buffet (Yeon-hoe-jang) is for the guests. This is where people actually talk, drink, and celebrate. Therefore, getting a “Meal Ticket” is the most important part of the guest experience.
For more details on traditional customs, check the Korea Tourism Organization Culture Guide.
Alice’s Bottom Line: Eat and Run
Don’t feel bad if the wedding seems short. Hand over your envelope, watch the bride walk down the aisle, and then enjoy the buffet.
If you ate well, you were a good guest.
Survival Hangul: Wedding Terms
- “축의금 (Chug-ui-geum)”
- Meaning: “Congratulatory Money.” (The cash envelope).
- “식권 (Sik-gwon)”
- Meaning: “Meal Ticket.” (Don’t lose this!).
- “신부대기실 (Sinbu-daegi-sil)”
- Meaning: “Bride’s Waiting Room.” (Go here before the ceremony to take a selfie with the bride).
Read This Next (Before You Make Another Mistake)
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